The Leological One

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Posts by The Leological One

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  20

  Have many become atheists who've left the Watchtower?

  by The Leological One in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  thought i've never been a jw, my wife is, and she was df'd a couple months ago when we got married (we were together a short while before getting married).

  sometimes it seems she still tries to defend jw doctrines... others, it seems she's about ready to accept the idea of some other views (protestant), and yet i've wondered at times when she says she doesn't know what to believe if she's about ready to forget religion altogether.

  i'd prefer she keeps her faith in god but seek her understanding more from the bible than just from other people's doctrines -- esp.

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  The Leological One

  Euph and all,

  Thanks for the replies, and I wish the best for all of you.

  Leonard
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  20

  Have many become atheists who've left the Watchtower?

  by The Leological One in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  thought i've never been a jw, my wife is, and she was df'd a couple months ago when we got married (we were together a short while before getting married).

  sometimes it seems she still tries to defend jw doctrines... others, it seems she's about ready to accept the idea of some other views (protestant), and yet i've wondered at times when she says she doesn't know what to believe if she's about ready to forget religion altogether.

  i'd prefer she keeps her faith in god but seek her understanding more from the bible than just from other people's doctrines -- esp.

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  The Leological One

  Losing family and friends can be a tough thing to swallow and keep one in. Quite a controlling situation; :(
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  20

  Have many become atheists who've left the Watchtower?

  by The Leological One in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  thought i've never been a jw, my wife is, and she was df'd a couple months ago when we got married (we were together a short while before getting married).

  sometimes it seems she still tries to defend jw doctrines... others, it seems she's about ready to accept the idea of some other views (protestant), and yet i've wondered at times when she says she doesn't know what to believe if she's about ready to forget religion altogether.

  i'd prefer she keeps her faith in god but seek her understanding more from the bible than just from other people's doctrines -- esp.

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  The Leological One

  [quote][i]Hope your wife comes to grips with her faith. JW's "faith" is more based on fear than love. Fear of losing your "standing" in the congregation, fear of alienating your friends because they view you as a "doubter", and even fear of being DF'd for apostasy. Conformance is the order of the day. Real faith isn't based on fear. Have her investigate "grace". My wife has gained much comfort from learning about it.[/i][/b] I can see where fear is a prime mover in the organization; very sad. I appreciate your response and am glad to hear your wife's doing better now with her own search, too! Leonard
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  20

  Have many become atheists who've left the Watchtower?

  by The Leological One in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  thought i've never been a jw, my wife is, and she was df'd a couple months ago when we got married (we were together a short while before getting married).

  sometimes it seems she still tries to defend jw doctrines... others, it seems she's about ready to accept the idea of some other views (protestant), and yet i've wondered at times when she says she doesn't know what to believe if she's about ready to forget religion altogether.

  i'd prefer she keeps her faith in god but seek her understanding more from the bible than just from other people's doctrines -- esp.

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  The Leological One

  Hi,

  Thought I've never been a JW, my wife is, and she was DF'd a couple months ago when we got married (we were together a short while before getting married). Sometimes it seems she still tries to defend JW doctrines... others, it seems she's about ready to accept the idea of some other views (protestant), and yet I've wondered at times when she says she doesn't know what to believe if she's about ready to forget religion altogether. I'd prefer she keeps her faith in God but seek her understanding more from the Bible than just from other people's doctrines -- esp. ones that aren't clear in the Bible. I'm just greatly concerned about her emotional well-being, and I can tell she needs to feel she has something she can put her faith in that's not a constant condemnatory bombardment, i.e. the WT.

  What do any of you think, and how do you feel about things after having left the WT or thinking about leaving?

  Thanks for any info!

  Leonard
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  52

  Slow to help....Quick to punish!

  by FreedomFrog in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok...thought this was interesting.. mom called this morning practically begging me to go to the jc meeting that's coming up this weekend.

  i explained that i had asked 6 different elders to get a study started with me within a span of 4 years because i was "feeling weak".

  each time i asked for a study i would say "i need help because i'm losing faith".

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  The Leological One

  Thanks for the info. I've heard of the book and would like to read it, too. I have a few other books, as well.
  
  
  Sometimes I feel she understands at least some of the stuff she learned is garbage, but then at my grandfather's funeral yesterday, I could tell she had a problem with how it was being preached he was "in heaven," and she told my sister that since he was a good man he at least may "deserve a chance" at Armageddon.
  
  
  So I think she still wants to hold tight JW views and may actually even want to go back someday, being ignored while sitting in the back of the cong., but then she usually slows down on that talk when I remind her of how she'd always felt left out and never seemed happy at the congregation. But then I think she convinces herself it's because she wasn't perfect enough and didn't put on enough of a smile-y face or how other circumstance hit just at the wrong time. She hasn't ever seemed either down enough on the Watchtower or just plain curious enough to let me show her sites like this one or show her books, but she's at least let me bolster the different view of faith vs. works such as presented in the book of Romans.
  
  
  I'm just glad I see so many others here who've found some ways to deal with some hefty blows dealt out through DF'ing or just quitting the WT when noticing some things not seeming right or making sense. I know some things like that can rock many people's entire worlds; it's good to see people not just being pulled under entirely but rather climbing out on top, and it gives me hope for my wife, too.
  
  
  Thanks to those who've shared their experiences after or in the midst of going through them!
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  52

  Slow to help....Quick to punish!

  by FreedomFrog in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok...thought this was interesting.. mom called this morning practically begging me to go to the jc meeting that's coming up this weekend.

  i explained that i had asked 6 different elders to get a study started with me within a span of 4 years because i was "feeling weak".

  each time i asked for a study i would say "i need help because i'm losing faith".

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  The Leological One

  "Like my husband always tell me, I try to fix things and while "fixing" I break things because I'm in panic and I need to learn to slow down . And he's right. I'm a person that needs things to be fixed RIGHT NOW. It's hard for me to have patience when it comes to "fixing" things. I'm a very emotional person and I can't go to bed when someone is upset with me. I've just got to learn that you can't fix EVERYTHING over night.

  FF"

  I know what you mean about having a really hard time just letting things go and going about business when feeling something's wrong. I've learned I can't expect my wife to get over things right away. She may even try to get back in the hall at some point, and I told her if she ever did I'd be there with her to support her while everyone there had to ignore her or look mean or whatever they'd do. Sometimes she gets into crying spells about feeling so unworthy of God and feeling like she hurt a lot of people by getting DF'd, and she seems stuck between hearing me recite verses about forgiveness, grace, and mercy as opposed to the going about doing works to get back in favor -- the works obviously being to put in hours as a JW vs. just getting out and loving one's neighbor as one's self, etc... I hope one day that I'll be able to convince her to check out this site and maybe read a couple books I have as well as check back on several things throughout the WT's history... and then I have to hope it won't totally make her feel everything in this world is as being wrong as some of the things she's been learned to be subjected to and under all those years.

  Sorry for the rant, but thanks for your input, and my best wishes to you and all others here. :)
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  52

  Slow to help....Quick to punish!

  by FreedomFrog in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok...thought this was interesting.. mom called this morning practically begging me to go to the jc meeting that's coming up this weekend.

  i explained that i had asked 6 different elders to get a study started with me within a span of 4 years because i was "feeling weak".

  each time i asked for a study i would say "i need help because i'm losing faith".

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  The Leological One

  I've hardly ever posted here but started because of a JW friend I had and now am married to since November. It seems like the lack of apparent genuine love for one another within a congregation I keep hearing about may be the most common as well as hurtful reasons a JW begins to question so many things and even drop out of the Watchtower.
  
  I know I've felt a lack of love within standard churches at times but then feel I've been shown a lot more care and concern than such a lack of love as what it seems so many JW's experience, though I'm sure any -- such as my wife -- can share times when they've felt cared about; just not nearly as much as one would think over a life of over 27 years as a JW. It seems so strange to me that those either in higher positions of authority or those in good standing, i.e. pioneering, etc., might be so out of balance, overall, when it comes to trying to help vs. trying to condemn.
  
  I'm still looking for ways to try and keep my DF'd wife convinced that she's not a bad or God-condemned person just because a group of imperfect people judged her and DF'd her. Would they have DF'd King David back in the day?!? I hope you do fine and that people such as my wife can find more peace and understanding that this lame organization does not indeed represent any real and objective truth -- at least none that I can discern. I should say I at least acknowledge that overall good moral teaching is a plus, but I can't find any other upside to the WT...
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  42

  What Made Things Finally "Click" With You To Know This Was Not The Truth?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for me it was the realization that there was no "faithful & discreet slave", that all the prophecies "proving" that jehovah's witnesses are the only religion approved by god is bogus and the realization that this is a "cult" and there is no real normal sense of love and affection in the "truth".

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  The Leological One

  "All of the above and the lack of love. Also a snide comment from an elder when my sister died.

  Merc'"

  Sorry to hear that, Merc. I've never personally been a JW but have a good friend who was raised up one and have another currently who means a lot to me and is one reason I've been researching things and reading posts on sites such as this a long time before I first posted.

  I've admittedly felt a lack of love sometimes within regular churches, but that's surely not something I've experienced often. The one thing that's had me surprised since starting to read posts like on this thread -- that there really seems to be a lack of genuine love/care/concern in what would seem to be many kingdom halls. I'd think any group of people feeling they're separated from all the rest of the world would have a sense of unity that would express itself in the aforementioned ways of genuine love, care, and concern for one another. It seems strange that it's apparently so different than that, though surely there must be some halls out there with more unity in a loving type of way.

  I feel for each of you who've been hurt by acts of shunning, favoritism, etc. that have gone on, and I pray for some major healing for you all,

  Leo
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  62

  Name Things That "Prove" JWs Have The "Truth".

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ....this could be interesting.....

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  The Leological One

  Is there any such thing as being wrong in so many ways that it equals being right~?!
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  38

  What Motivates You to Expose the "Truth About the Troof" to Active JW's?

  by imallgrowedup in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  while responding to another thread, i was thinking about how so many of us talk about trying to help "believing dubs" out from the clutches of the wt, while at the same time, it occurred to me that we probably all have different motivations for doing so.

  as for me, i am motivated to get my parents out because i think they have the right to know "the whole story" - not just the candy-coated version the wt espouses, so they can make better decisions about how they want to live the rest of their lives.

  right now the wt makes all their life decisions for them - including whether or not they should look at what the "other side" has to say about them.

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  The Leological One

  Thanx for the warm welcome jwsons!!!

  I'm really glad I found this site, too! It has really helped me to understand much better some JW's I know and have known in the past. Now I understand the different mindset many have, contrasting what I previously believed, and so will help me to be a lot more careful in how I talk to any from this piont on! It was kinda' strange that I had this weird feeling to be very careful in how I talked to the JW girl I know only to find that the way I normally am just a blunt person would've definitely had her stonewalling me a long time ago!

  May a lot more JW's search for solid answers and come across this site! Peace to all,

  Leo